To date, or not to date?

I thought about posting this next entry. Then I thought no. But now I am back to yes. I thought no, because this really is a horrible experience of a friend of mine. But, I decided yes for the same reason.

Okay, I have a really good friend who has a semi-large family. His family is also totally insane, and very, very dysfunctional.

Currently his sister is trying to set him up with a friend of hers. His sister's friend is way white trash, smells like a horse (she works with them so that is almost forgivable), describes herself as having almost as much of a sense of humor as Michael Jackson. BTW, she is serious when she says it, which kind of scares me.

Oh, she does not read. Anything. Not even the Enquirer. It is too hard. Her words, not mine. Yes, earwax has about as much intelligence as this lady. Sorry, I did not mean to insult earwax.

She is kind of unkempt, and built like a pro-football player. With one exception. She has large boobs. This is why my friends sister thinks he would be interested in dating her.

Oh, wait, there is more! This girls mother carried on an affair for several years with my friends father. Open family secret there, BTW.

Now that you have some of the history going on here, my friend's sister and this girl cornered my friend the other day. The topic, was, of course, him going out with the line-backer. My friends sister proceeds to tell my friend that this girl is good in bed.

Was the chick embarrassed by this? Did she even attempt to stop this horrible topic? No. No she didn't. She very sincerely and honestly told my friend. "I'm great in bed. Just ask your brother."

Before running away, my friend told them that was a definite deal-breaker, right there. Ewww! My friend is also beginning to look into getting some therapy.

NO NO NO!!!! I'm pissed and going to rant, beware!

Recently my library system decided that, we are in the middle of a recession. Shocker, huh?

At a meeting management unleashed their new plan to deal with budget issues. Included with this was the termination of ALL part time staff. That's right. All. This is close to 150 or so people. There will be about 40 or so part time jobs that will be open in the next fiscal year. Current part time employees have been invited to apply to gain these positions. When trying for these positions, seniority will not be a factor.

Can you say "popularity contest"? I can.

Many attended this informatory meeting, few survived. However some of the employees caught the tidbit thrown in the middle of the speech about how everyone was special. This tidbit mentioned that they had been looking at this problem for over a year.

OVER A YEAR folks.

While this current plan will allow the library to survive - barely- let us take a look at how the management has handled things for over a year in response to this growing crisis.

Management has been continuing to hire, and promote, tons of new employees. Almost every week or so we received news announcements saying to welcome a new employee, or that that employee was promoted to a position that was not there before. Such as extra clerical positions.

Management received bonuses during this past year, and pay increases... they were doing such a great job, they deserved them.

Management sent employees to an expense-paid conference near San Diego, at an exclusive resort.

Management encouraged employees to go here, there, and everywhere for trainings that were nice, but not vital to the library system.

This year of increased expenses, when they KNEW what the next fiscal year was looking like makes no sense.

Why not do a hiring freeze last year? Reduce some library hours? Limit promotions? Start cutting non-essential staff positions in light of budget cuts.

What are non-essential staff positions, you might ask. Here is a list:
1) Librarian trainees- These are trainees for librarian positions that we are not going to create. 40K a year each.

2) Our P.R. manager. Public relations is nice, but since we now have no budget for many programs and activities, do we really need an 80K a year P.R. person to send formulaic calendars, that will just say when our remaining storytime hours are, to the printer? This job could be done by a secretary or another manager. 80K could help a lot of others keep their jobs.

3) Payroll & accounting. Our staff is getting slashed. How many accountants do we need to process payroll? How about going from 3 to 2?

No, all of the above positions are remaining. Part time employees who are "lucky" enough to come back will be given anywhere from 10-20 hours a week, maximum. Not the 30-35 that they need to survive.

This includes a woman who has worked for the library for 25 years, and who has a daughter to support.

A young woman, and dear friend of mine, who has worked for the library for several years. Her husband is getting laid off from his job.

Another dear friend who works her butt off, and who has a few cats and a new puppy to support.

College students who are paying for housing.

A husband and wife, in their late teens, who just got married.

These are some of the people who are being displaced, who make factions less than non-essential positions... while the library has been tossing money around for the last year. Their jobs could have been saved by just being a little bit frugal.

Does this affect your dearly beloved Berserker? Well, my job is safe. But it does affect me. These are my friends. My extended family. These are the people I share everything with. Yes, this does affect me.

My friends, I love you all. I want to grab on to you and say "Don't go. Don't leave me." I'm selfish. This hurts, so very much.



NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE

The thought & fact that you’re going
Is something I will never believe,
To me this is all a joke
Like someone is playing a game with me

At times we could not stand each other
But yet I still loved you
So now that you’re leaving me
What shall I ever do

Being here without you
Is something I just can’t see
Life, period, without you
Is just not right to me

I know there will be no on like you
No one with your unique style
You are so special to me
Now who will keep me from going senile?

A family get-together, a lesson in manners

Well yesterday I attended one of the most dreaded events of the year- a family get-together. It was a relative's birthday, and almost all of my very extensive family was in there. We are talking about close to forty people actually showing up.

As with all family affairs, our clan has various traditions that we adhere to rigorously. I used to think that my family was very dysfunctional, and that these traditions were very self-destructive, but over the course of time, I have realize that this is not so. Yes my family is moronic. Yes they are irritating, embarrassing, and sophomoric, but in comparison to lots of families that I know, well they are not that bad, and actually work well together in a twilight zone kind of way.

One thing that I have come to appreciate from my family, is the fact that manners are kind of important.

First off, there is always plenty of alcohol for the adults. Yes, I know that this does not set the best example for the children, but at least it sets a realistic one, as well as a lesson in good manners. When a relative gets obnoxious, do not yell at them or get into a fight or argument, just simply stand up, and excuse yourself with the loud comment of "Does anyone else want another drink?" Not only does this get out out of the idiot's diatribe, but it makes you look hospitable and caring about the needs of other family members.

Second, when two, or more, kids are fighting... NEVER get involved unless you are the parent. I have come to realize that the comment of "They're not my kids," actually translates into "I wish the children would behave, but I will not step on parental-toes, or belittle parenting techniques of others, and instead will relax, knowing that the children will be handled in a responsible, yet supportive fashion, once the parents are made aware of the situation." Yes, I am sure of this translation, and no, the fact that I often hide in delusions to escape stress when dealing with family has nothing to do with this translation. The voices told me so.

Third, if family arguments do happen, my family shows support to both sides by not getting directly involved, or taking sides. Instead someone will step in, near enough to the two combatants to be easily heard, and make a comment about a relative's boss (who most there have met) behaving like an ass to the relative in question, or mention some sort of tragic event, such as a beloved pets untimely demise under the tires of a hated neighbor.

This is done to the room at large, and others, picking up the intent, will start a conversation about it, asking opinions from the combatants, and drawing them away from an unseemly spat. This tactic, of family bonding through finding a mutual (non-family) target/enemy is a proven to be highly effective. Okay, so the most famous example of this is the Nazi party uniting the German nation through hatred of the Jews... but you have to admit it is effective. After the spat is calmed down, a day or two later everyone will, of course, talk to the two participants privately, and assure them that they were right, thus restoring family balance and helping to support the confidence and self-esteem of the two arguing relatives.

And fourth, all bitching about relatives will wait until you are alone with your immediate family, where you can unwind with additional alcohol. Or at a bar with additional alcohol. Or in your car, where you have stashed additional alcohol. While many might think that this shows an over-dependence on alcohol by my family, this is simply not true. We are just dependent enough on alcohol to make this bunch of polar opposite insane personalities tolerable.

While we may use alcohol as a crutch, any lesser being would have been driven insane by my family long ago. So, you see, alcohol addiction is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of strength.