I've had it with your crap

When do you know that it is time to throw in the towel and walk away? That is the question that I have been asking myself a lot recently.

The answer? Now. Now is the time.

You see, for a while now I have tried communicating with a long time friend. I say communicating because I have tried e-mail, phone, and sending messages through third parties.

No real response.

This person is one of the most passive-aggressive people that I have ever known. I have a feeling that I have been convicted of some crime, real or (most likely) imagined, and this person is either writing me off or punishing me by blocking me out.


Or, if I am imagining being shunned by this person, at the very least there is a lack of motivation on their part. A lack of motivation to try and remain friends. Lack of motivation even common courtesy to return phone calls and well-wishes for various events in their life. This has gone on, in various degrees, for a long time. Slowly building over a couple of years.

Whatever.

I have thought this over. Part of me wants to try and demand an explanation. But, since I keep meeting with the attitude of a two year old who doesn't want to talk, I really doubt that there is much that would be gained.

I guess I am just tired. Tired of the crap. Tired of the lack of courtesy. Tired of reaching out to
only be ignored.

Again- Whatever.


So, I have just decided to say goodbye. I doubt this person will ever read this, or even care if they did. To be honest, after years of trying to stay in touch, to stay friends, and having them only try a bit when it was convenient for them, and months of flat out ignoring me, I have gotten to the point of not caring at all. I am just going to write this to get it out, and then... walk away.

So, a friendship ends. Not with a bang. Not with a whimper, but with just a shrug.

NO NO NO!!!! I'm pissed and going to rant, beware!

Recently my library system decided that, we are in the middle of a recession. Shocker, huh?

At a meeting management unleashed their new plan to deal with budget issues. Included with this was the termination of ALL part time staff. That's right. All. This is close to 150 or so people. There will be about 40 or so part time jobs that will be open in the next fiscal year. Current part time employees have been invited to apply to gain these positions. When trying for these positions, seniority will not be a factor.

Can you say "popularity contest"? I can.

Many attended this informatory meeting, few survived. However some of the employees caught the tidbit thrown in the middle of the speech about how everyone was special. This tidbit mentioned that they had been looking at this problem for over a year.

OVER A YEAR folks.

While this current plan will allow the library to survive - barely- let us take a look at how the management has handled things for over a year in response to this growing crisis.

Management has been continuing to hire, and promote, tons of new employees. Almost every week or so we received news announcements saying to welcome a new employee, or that that employee was promoted to a position that was not there before. Such as extra clerical positions.

Management received bonuses during this past year, and pay increases... they were doing such a great job, they deserved them.

Management sent employees to an expense-paid conference near San Diego, at an exclusive resort.

Management encouraged employees to go here, there, and everywhere for trainings that were nice, but not vital to the library system.

This year of increased expenses, when they KNEW what the next fiscal year was looking like makes no sense.

Why not do a hiring freeze last year? Reduce some library hours? Limit promotions? Start cutting non-essential staff positions in light of budget cuts.

What are non-essential staff positions, you might ask. Here is a list:
1) Librarian trainees- These are trainees for librarian positions that we are not going to create. 40K a year each.

2) Our P.R. manager. Public relations is nice, but since we now have no budget for many programs and activities, do we really need an 80K a year P.R. person to send formulaic calendars, that will just say when our remaining storytime hours are, to the printer? This job could be done by a secretary or another manager. 80K could help a lot of others keep their jobs.

3) Payroll & accounting. Our staff is getting slashed. How many accountants do we need to process payroll? How about going from 3 to 2?

No, all of the above positions are remaining. Part time employees who are "lucky" enough to come back will be given anywhere from 10-20 hours a week, maximum. Not the 30-35 that they need to survive.

This includes a woman who has worked for the library for 25 years, and who has a daughter to support.

A young woman, and dear friend of mine, who has worked for the library for several years. Her husband is getting laid off from his job.

Another dear friend who works her butt off, and who has a few cats and a new puppy to support.

College students who are paying for housing.

A husband and wife, in their late teens, who just got married.

These are some of the people who are being displaced, who make factions less than non-essential positions... while the library has been tossing money around for the last year. Their jobs could have been saved by just being a little bit frugal.

Does this affect your dearly beloved Berserker? Well, my job is safe. But it does affect me. These are my friends. My extended family. These are the people I share everything with. Yes, this does affect me.

My friends, I love you all. I want to grab on to you and say "Don't go. Don't leave me." I'm selfish. This hurts, so very much.



NEVER SAY GOOD-BYE

The thought & fact that you’re going
Is something I will never believe,
To me this is all a joke
Like someone is playing a game with me

At times we could not stand each other
But yet I still loved you
So now that you’re leaving me
What shall I ever do

Being here without you
Is something I just can’t see
Life, period, without you
Is just not right to me

I know there will be no on like you
No one with your unique style
You are so special to me
Now who will keep me from going senile?