Good kids are hard to find, so keep looking!

Sorry about not posting lately, but after I got back from the Holy Land (a.k.a. Disneyland) things got pretty busy. By the way, photos and stories will be uploaded soon, I promise!

However I had to post this. Last week the library I work at had a class visit. For those of you who do not speak libraryese, what this means is that a classroom of children made a visit to the library.

This time it was a class of second grade kids, so ages about 7 or so. This is an important fact, okay? The kids had a blast, we did a mini-storytime for them, showed them all around the library, and answered any questions that they might have.

One young kid, we will call him Tyler (and, Asian Eddie, it is _not_ that Tyler either, this is a younger version) was asking questions of a coworker of mine, who was already wrangling three other children. So I stepped in. He wanted books on how to speak German, and I thought he was a neat kid... not many want to learn another language at 7. I showed him where the books to learn German were, as well as books on tape and cd, so that he could listen to the sounds of the words. He was really enthusiastic. Then he asked for books about Europe. I showed him the section, and that is when he opened up.

He was so happy, and said that he was German, and wanted to see pictures of where his family came from. Out of all the kids who were running around throwing books around, I got the one kid who really wanted to learn. It was awesome! So I said that I am Irish. His smile got bigger and said that his grandmother was Irish, but the rest of his family was German.

When I asked if he was going to go to Germany sometime for a vacation, he somberly replied, "When I am an adult." This kid was acting so politely, and so mature, I really was impressed by him, and how he was being raised by his family.

But you know what? NEVER EVER make assumptions!!! I forgot that bit of wisdom!

Because next the kid, about 7 remember... told me that if the "coloreds" kept taking over America, he was going to move to Europe.

I was so freaking shocked by the little Nazi, I went in back, and told a co-worker. She took a look outside the door and said the kid had been snotty to her.

On his way out, he stopped, and tanked me for all the help I had given him, and said that if I wanted to know, his name was Tyler. Another coworker of mine, who had heard the tale by that time, said "I guess he can tell you his name, since you are white."

He's seven... and already has attitudes like that. Just shoot the parents.

Child of Satan found in library...

Ok, my friend, Queen of Dysfunction, posted a blog on Tuesday detailing the trials and tribulations of children. The blog ended with a story about some hooker illegally parked in a handicapped space getting in her face for disciplining her child with a light swat.

ARGH! I just had to post after reading that blog.

A while back a couple came into my library. With... a child. The kid was out of control. Seriously, I think the the kid has the number 666 imprinted on the back of his neck or something.

I was happy when they walked on in, and away from me. I love kids, but some of them need a mute button, or a mute button plus a whole bunch of ductape wrapped around them.

Anywho... the parents go in, the kid runs wild for about half an hour. Then it is time to go. The parents try cajoling the child into leaving.

It does not work.

After ten minutes of mommy whining, "Come here Johnny. We need to go Johnny. Please, Johnny? Johnny, it's important we don't be late..." I was ready to hurl.

The father came up and checked out the books. He apologized for his son. The father just looked... well resigned I guess would fit.

Just after checking out this huge stack of books for their monster, the kid comes running up screaming at the top of his lungs, "I WANNA GET THE BOOKS! I WANNA GET THE BOOKS!"

The father said that he was sorry, but he had already checked the books out.

Johnny just started screaming louder (and I did not think that this was possible) "YOU FUCKER! I FUCKING HATE YOU, YOU FUCKER!"

By the way, the charming little tyke was about 7 or 8 tops.

Mom came rushing up and hugged the kid. No, that is not a euphemism from smother.. it was a full-blown hug. And then said, "Johnny, we don't use bad words. Daddy is sorry he made you mad."

The father's head just dropped until his chin was practically on his chest, and closed his eyes.

In my head I was screaming WHAT THE FUCK?!?

I cannot believe that some parents think it is wrong to spank their children, but that it is okay for their kids to be just as rotten, crude, and abusive to other people as they want.


END OF RANT

Demons terrorize Librarian!

I am a retarded-freak magnet, always have been. Just ask Drunk Drama Queen. But yesterday really took the cake.

Yesterday some of our regular internet-addicts came in to use the computers at the library. They come in every single day. You would think that by now they would know some of the basics...

Such as, while waiting please stop terrorizing people who are on the computers already. First off, it does not work. The people on the computers are also addicted, and even World War III would not phase them while they are getting their my-space fix. Second of all, you are pissing the staff off!

Next, when signed up for the computer, please stop looking at porn. The underage kids don't like seeing animals do things like that with people. Ok, maybe they do (really hick town here), but still. Also... you are pissing the staff off.

And finally, when you are signed up, please don't think it is ok to sneak a friend onto the computer during _your_ sign-up period. Particularly when the friend has already been kicked off for watching uncle Chester do the sheep he owns. That really pisses the staff off.

After this group was kicked off the computers, they actually were upset because we did not give them two warnings, and instead just kicked them off. Ok fuck-tards, we gave you two warnings three days ago, two days ago, and one day ago. Oddly enough, we are not giving out warning any more!

After they left, I got to go home.. actually I went to buy some new clothes. Got some pretty snazzy ones too... but that is another story. However I realized that the kids on the internet were not at fault, they were possessed by demons.

I know this because the demons followed me to the clothing store and possessed three little kids.

The kids were from a red-neck family who were also in the store, trying to find a suit for one of them to go to a wedding. I tried complaining that they were really out of control, but the sales associate got all defensive and protective of "God's little angels"... I have no idea why since she did not seem to know them personally. But they were not sent from the big G-man lady.

The kids realized they could go under the locked changing room "doors" and play unobserved. I tried to complain again about their behavior, and again was shot down.

The family got up there to purchase the suit, and realized that you can't haggle the price down. They called the demon-children out and left.

Then I went up to pay for my snazzy new clothes. The lady (by now I was thinking of her as Ms. Nazi Cashier Bitch) started reading me the riot act, saying I made the other customers uncomfortable and they left without buying anything.

That was it. I started yelling "MANAGER" as loud as I can. I am a loud guy. Mr. Manager came quickly, and I informed him of what his Nazi was saying to me...and she went off saying that I was picking on children and making them 'uncomfortable'.

The manager then turned to me and asked what the children were doing that was so wrong. My response? "Well, for starters, I tried telling this ... woman.. about the children and she would not listen." The manager started to get puffed up, but I continued. "I thought she would want to know that they were **PISSING** in the changing room."

The manager and sales Nazi went and verified the puddle.

Moral of the story? Complain about piss in a pretty nice clothing store and get and additional 25% off.