Baby news!

Well everyone, on Friday my youngerst nephew decided to have a baby. Actually his wife, Amanda, decided it was time. Since she has been suffering for weeks now, Amanda is really happy that her bundle of joy decided to run away from her womb. BTW, that is her phrase, not mine.

With the help of the physicians at the hospital, little Logan Matthew came into this world at 21 inches long, seven pounds and eleven ounces. I am, once again, a great uncle... see? The word 'great' is automatically attached!

For those who know my family, and those who don't... yes this means that the redneck population in California has just increased.

Actually the kid is cute.. and I am going to try my darndest to make sure that he has a great life.

Here are a couple of photos of the cute kid, along with the proud father in one of them.

Hope you all had as great a weekend as I...

Harry Potter Mania!

As everyone on the Planet knows, Harry Potter & the Deathly Hollows is now out, and was an instant best seller.

Leading up to this, however, has been some intense Harry Potter mania! This past week the library that I work at has been hosting a series of Harry Potter parties, complete with a full cast of crutial "background" characters to make it a total smashing success. Figures such as Rita Skeeter, Gilderoy Lockhart, Professor Trelawny and others made the events memorable for everyone.

In addition to the Harry Potter takeover of the library system, I also attended the midnight Potter party at Barnes & Nobles. The night was full of fun... and some seriously deranged adults, myself included. Accompanied by a dear friend, a member of the Slytherin House, we made our way through the crowds, greeting friends, and gawking at a world of imagination gone into overdrive.

Everywhere you looked wizards, witches, and muggles ran back and forth. Making charms, having their fortunes read, and listening to Potter trivia ... the evening was full of magic in one form or another. By one a.m., though, I was tired, and at the same time still wound up.

A friend of mine, a little girl... ok she is 20, but I swear she looks like she is maybe 12, won the costume contest. Dressed up as Luna "Looney" Lovegood, she made an awesome character. When I get my photos uploaded, I will post a picture of her.

Another friend of mine, known only as her character "Rita Skeeter" was the total hit of the night! Pictures were taken of her, with various children and adults, on an average of one every five minutes or so. She was awesome! In fact, that is her in the picture with Gilderoy Lockhart.

The night was so much fun, I just wish all of my friends could have been there. Well maybe not all, some of them are not geeky enough to enjoy Harry Potter. However, if Rowling ever does write Harry Potter #8, or any other book in that universe, I am giving warning now to my friends [especially Drunk Drama Queen]... I will so be dragging all of your asses out with me, and we will invade, conquer, and then go get drunk. [heh, I know the promise of alcohol will hook them!]

I hope all of you enjoy the seventh Potter book as much as I am. And as for a spoiler, only this... fist casualty happens on page 56. Friends of mine, nearby as I was reading, heard me exclaim... "Damn you, J.K. Rowling.. you bitch!!!"

And, in honor of the serious nature of Harry Potter... a few links to Youtube for some awesome music videos. PLEASE watch them. The first is an unusual romance... and the other one... well every time I see it I am still shocked, and still laugh my ass off! Both videos are really well done, and deserve some kind of award. Maybe.

These are videos that a group of friends and I found while surfing Youtube for the first time while looking for stuff on the tv show Hex, which is the most fucking awesome show ever!

Hermione & Draco, a love story.

Tra-La-La. OMFG! This is soooo wrong!

Foul Demons of Stupidity... BEGONE!

I have to say that I am a stupid magnet. I am also a freak magnet, psycho magnet, and a loser magnet as well, but right now lets just talk about the demons of stupidity that seem to be drawn to me.

My ex-boss, who still cannot comprehend why he was fired, still comes in to the library where I work. He still sends e-mails to my work e-mail account. Both of those are mildly annoying. However he comes in or e-mails to tell me what to do. I keep wanting to ask him what part of being fired did he not get? Well now he has started sending me e-mails ordering me to tell *my new boss* what to do. I'm sure I will rant about him at another time, but there is more.

Libraries should attract smart people, but they don't. Today I was stuck training a new employee for six hours. Have you ever seen the movie "Clueless"?? Well this guy is the retired geriatric male counterpart to most of the teens in that movie. He has had FOUR WEEKS of training so far, before he got to my branch for additional training. I swear someone is out to get me.

He's a nice old man who is near the end of his life. Or I hope he is... really he does not have much to look forward to. It took three hours to teach him how to sign people up for the computers. *NOT* to assign them a computer... just to sign them up. The process is, I admit very confusing, and I am sure that I was explaining it in very technical terms. "Bill, just write down their first name, and the initial of their last name." EVERY freakin time someone came up to sign up for the waiting list, he would say "You will have to wait a moment, I have not been trained in that." I would then go ahead and go through it again... "First name, Bill! Last initial!." In the three hours we were signing up, we had 65 people sign up for the computer. I had to correct him each time, or show him how to do it... again. 65... I counted. It was on person 66 that he started to realize what first name, and last initial meant.

Friends if I get that bad, kill me. Put me out of my misery. You can even do something creative and sell the video on E-bay. Seriously... If I am flat-lining that much, I doubt I would notice a thing anyway!

And finally, the one that takes the cake! I saw Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix this weekend at a local theatre. And at the concession stand was a young man who needs to be neutered before he reproduces. We'll call him Jeremy.

Jeremy: Can I help you?

Me: Yes, we have a coupon for a free small soda, and I would like a blue rasberry icee.

Jeremy: I'm sorry but the only icee machine we have working now is blue rasberry.

Me: [blink]

Jeremy: Would you like one of those?

Me: Yes.

Jeremy provides an icee that is more liquidy than a soda, and I mention that it is way too watery.

Jeremy: It is?

Me: [dunking my finger in it and swishing it around] Yep. Feels that way. We will just take the small soda, and instead of an icee, a large water.

Jeremy: Ok. What type of soda do you want?

Me: [first consulting with my friend who the drink was for] Coke.

Jeremy proceeds to WASH OUT THE FREAKING CUP that the blue rasbery water was in, and then fills it up. With sprite.

Me: Uhm, we wanted coke.

Jeremy: Yes [hands me the sprite and then goes off to get me a large water]

Me: Jeremy, this is sprite.

Jeremy: Didn't you want a coke?

Me: Yes

Jeremy: Then why are you asking for sprite?

Me: I'm not, Jeremy. We want a coke. Dark brown.. fizzy... coke.

Jeremy then dumps out the blue rasberry icee cup that is filled with sprite, washes it out, and starts to put in coke.

Me: Can we have a new cup?

Jeremy: This is a new cup.

My friend, sensing my distress, tells me to forget about the new cup.

Jeremy: That will be $13.

Me: For water?!?

Jeremy: [looking at the cash register] For the icee, water, and the soda?

Me: The soda is free. Free. Means no cash needed. Coupon... you take that, but not money. And we did not take the icee because it was defective. Like a condom that I think was used sometime in the past that is affecting me right now.

Jeremy: You don't want the soda?

Another young helper stepped up, and it took about 20 seconds to get the transaction right. I asked if Jeremy was new... I was told that yes he is, he had only been there for several weeks. Several weeks???

Harry Potter Movie

Let me start off with the standard disclaimer... this post contains no spoilers. I *refuse* to ruin movies for people. It is an awful thing to do, and people who give away key parts of a movie should be exiled!

This weekend I went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Okay, actually I saw it twice (I was invited by a few different friends).

Those of you who have seen my Transformers movie review know that there were two movies that I was greatly looking forward to this summer, Transformers and H.P. #5. This was a movie that I had been waiting to see... ever since the last one had come out.. I admit it, I am a movie addict. After seeing one, I cannot wait to see another.

I'm a big fan of the books, and I have sincerely enjoyed all of the H.P. movies, even this last one. As you can probably tell, I am not ranking this latest installment of the H.P. franchise as one of the better films.

Don't get me wrong, please. I really did enjoy the movie! I went in with expectations suitably lowered by my insightful friend Beth, and I have to admit from the early quasi-negative friend-reviews that I received, I was pleasantly surprised!

The movie, however, could have been so much more. I think that (without giving anything away) that the movie could have been editted a little better, with some scenes completely left out, and others lengthened, or added in all together. My one complaint for the movie was that it seemed to try to focus on too much, with little bits here and there on a variety of areas... and I would have liked to see it compacted and tightned up a little more. Heighten the suspense a notch, add in a little more humor. Show some cleavage!!! I mean, am I the only one who thinks Prof. Minerva McGonagall is hot???

Kidding!!!! She's a great actress though, and I think her barbed sarcasm could have been used a little more in several of the scenes. She reminds me of an older version of a friend of mine (DDQ). One of a kind, awesomely talented, and able to crush someone with a look or ripping comment.

The special effects were well done. The acting... well if you have seen any of the H.P. movies you know about the acting... some good, some bad, and always enjoyable.

Hhmm on my personal scale? It's a mixed review. If you can see it on the Imax, go for it! The 3d parts are a lot of fun! I think this movie calls out for a big screen... but over all, if I had to wait for DVD release, I would not have been crushed on seeing the final cut.

I admit, though, I am really looking forward to the DVD, and I am hoping that there will be a lot of extended sequences and (crossing fingers) a longer Director's cut.

Demons terrorize Librarian!

I am a retarded-freak magnet, always have been. Just ask Drunk Drama Queen. But yesterday really took the cake.

Yesterday some of our regular internet-addicts came in to use the computers at the library. They come in every single day. You would think that by now they would know some of the basics...

Such as, while waiting please stop terrorizing people who are on the computers already. First off, it does not work. The people on the computers are also addicted, and even World War III would not phase them while they are getting their my-space fix. Second of all, you are pissing the staff off!

Next, when signed up for the computer, please stop looking at porn. The underage kids don't like seeing animals do things like that with people. Ok, maybe they do (really hick town here), but still. Also... you are pissing the staff off.

And finally, when you are signed up, please don't think it is ok to sneak a friend onto the computer during _your_ sign-up period. Particularly when the friend has already been kicked off for watching uncle Chester do the sheep he owns. That really pisses the staff off.

After this group was kicked off the computers, they actually were upset because we did not give them two warnings, and instead just kicked them off. Ok fuck-tards, we gave you two warnings three days ago, two days ago, and one day ago. Oddly enough, we are not giving out warning any more!

After they left, I got to go home.. actually I went to buy some new clothes. Got some pretty snazzy ones too... but that is another story. However I realized that the kids on the internet were not at fault, they were possessed by demons.

I know this because the demons followed me to the clothing store and possessed three little kids.

The kids were from a red-neck family who were also in the store, trying to find a suit for one of them to go to a wedding. I tried complaining that they were really out of control, but the sales associate got all defensive and protective of "God's little angels"... I have no idea why since she did not seem to know them personally. But they were not sent from the big G-man lady.

The kids realized they could go under the locked changing room "doors" and play unobserved. I tried to complain again about their behavior, and again was shot down.

The family got up there to purchase the suit, and realized that you can't haggle the price down. They called the demon-children out and left.

Then I went up to pay for my snazzy new clothes. The lady (by now I was thinking of her as Ms. Nazi Cashier Bitch) started reading me the riot act, saying I made the other customers uncomfortable and they left without buying anything.

That was it. I started yelling "MANAGER" as loud as I can. I am a loud guy. Mr. Manager came quickly, and I informed him of what his Nazi was saying to me...and she went off saying that I was picking on children and making them 'uncomfortable'.

The manager then turned to me and asked what the children were doing that was so wrong. My response? "Well, for starters, I tried telling this ... woman.. about the children and she would not listen." The manager started to get puffed up, but I continued. "I thought she would want to know that they were **PISSING** in the changing room."

The manager and sales Nazi went and verified the puddle.

Moral of the story? Complain about piss in a pretty nice clothing store and get and additional 25% off.

Movie Review: TRANSFORMERS

First off I would like to say that this review does not contain spoilers.

As many of my friends know, I am a movie addict. I love going out to see them, and will often make plans way in advance.

This was the case for the Transformers movie. Months ago I started planning carefully. Who to go with, and what theatre to see it in (unfortunately it was not being shown on the Imax screen).

Well the fourth of July came, and a few adopted family members and myself set out to see the new Transformers movie.

For me this was one of the two must-see movies of the summer. The other being "Harry Potter #5". Sorry to all of you "Pirates of the Caribbean" fans. I loved the first movie, but the second one sucked, and the third one.. well it did not suck as much as #2, and was a lot of fun, but I truly hated the ending of #3.

But, I digress. Back to the Transformers. While this movie is one that I was greatly looking forward to, I have to admit that I questioned if it would live up to all of the hype from the year plus of ads and promos.

I had my checklist going:
1) See movie with good friends (the non drama-impaired kind): Check!
2) Get there early: Check!
3) Get good seats: Semi-check! We had good seats, though not in the center, but still good seats.

The lights dimmed, the music started, and the race was on! Would this movie live up to the hype, or would it be overtaken by the sucky-movie mobile?

Two and a half hours later I had my answer.

THE MOVIE ROCKED! I just wish that it had been shown on the Imax screen.

Transformers had everything that it advertised. Action, comedy, and (surprisingly) a really good plot and storyline. And the actors could ACT! No "Mannequin-Skywalkers" in this bunch! The performances were kept to believable levels, and not *too* over the top. A couple of times it came close, but still the actors managed to pull it off.

It was obvious that the storyline and concepts had been updated to fit the times. Great relief for me, since some of the '80's remakes lately still seem too dated. For instance, Bumblebee was changed from a classic VW bug, to a Camaro. While I missed the original Bumblebee, the new one still retained all of the fun and style of the original.

Colors changed a bit, with Optimus Prime gaining a new detailed paint job. However, like Bumblebee, all of the characters I grew up with still remained true to the 'feel' of the original. At least most of the time, but more on that later....

The storyline had changed a bit from the original, but I think the changes were good. Characters got a little more depth to them, and seemed more realistic and 3-dimensional. I just liked the characters more, and that was something I did not think would happen.

And the soundtrack... I have to admit I really enjoy a good soundtrack with my movie. The common concensus among those who went, about the soundtrack, was "must-own."

There were a few problems I did have with the movie though.

The language also got updated, and while it did, usually, increase the comedy level of the movie, seeing a favorite character use the term "bitch" kind of pinged with me. So, I guess, not all of the updating was a good thing.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind strong language at all, but it does have it's place. And I have to say that the place is not in a remake of a *kids cartoon*. For the most part, the language was usually appropriate for the original feel of the Transformers, and this movie did not hit the foul-language-keep-the-kids-away-at-all-cost meter, but maybe some of the language used could have been left out or modified.

The only other problem that I could see was a few continuity errors. Such as during a black out, all of the lights along the street are out, the people in the house are using flashlights to navigate... and an external shot of the house shows a dark neighborhood, but various lights still obviously working both outside the house, on the patio, and inside... windows lit, etc.

Ok, for the final verdict: This movie is a must-see on the big screen. It's even worth an evening ticket price (and for me that is saying something).

If you do go see it, I hope you have a wonderful time. The production company, directors, and actors have done a fine job of creating a movie that will help carry you away to somewhere else, and show you a fun ride getting there.

As the tag-line says, Transformers: More than meets the eye.

Poem of the Month

Well since I am way new to blogging, I thought I would start off with a poem I wrote... since I doubt anyone will ever see it anyway :)

But if you do, please be kind in your criticism.

THE KNIGHT

His armor glints in the mid-day light.
Visor down, his face hidden from view.
All they see of him, his armor.
No one sees, no one knows,
The man inside.

Ready for the next battle,
One in an endless theme.
He hides his wounds and his scars
Behind a metallic sheen.
No one knows the man inside.

Does he smile, when he cries,
It's all the same
To the world outside.
His visor down, his secrets safe,
No one knows the man inside.

In time, he himself has forgot,
Who he is, and who he was.
His armor shields him tight,
His outer shell now more real than he.
No one knows the man inside.

Then one day, the armor rang hollow.
It's folds of metal guarding no one.
All that remains- the brightly polished
Armor, standing alone, empty.
No one ever knew the man inside.