It's my ass, not yours!

I love Disneyland. I really do. It is the most wonderful place on earth. That said, I ave to admit this last trip was a bit disturbing.

Why you may ask. The park was great. The rides thrilling. The attractions were attractive. The food was edible and pricey.

So what was my problem?

The kids. I know I know. You are thinking that Disneyland is for children. I agree, it is. Actually I think Disneyland is for everyone.. but definitely kids. HOWEVER my ass is not. That's right, my ass is not for kids.

At Disneyland I learned a disturbing fact. My ass is a kid magnet. I started keeping track.. 18 adorable little tykes grabbed my ass at one point or another. Toddlers would grab to hang on in order to walk. I had one kid rub my butt. Another kid put his hand in my back pocket and walked along.

Hello! Private territory there!

And the parents did not seem to mind. That was the creepy part!

The kid who put his hand in my pocket, for instance... his parents were about seven or eight feet behind me... I looked back, and there they were looking... but not doing anything. I had to say "Excuse me, but I think I found one of your children." before they actually did anything.

I have long known that I am adored by kids and animals. I think it is because I am on their intellectual level or something. I have a pretty calming effect on them... but come on! It's my ass people! So your kid is smiling.. so what? Letting your child play with the ass of a stranger is NOT a good thing.

Luckily one of the people I was travelling with is 4 1/2 years old- who has a problem with strange children. When other kids touched my ass, he would stick his hand in their face and say "Go 'way." God I love that little guy. But it is pretty bad when I have to say that my ass was protected by a four year old little guy.

Ok, I am finished ranting. I'm still disturbed and deeply traumatized by this issue, but I am done ranting.